I was unexpectedly thrust into higher studies for Bachelor of Engineering when I had expected to do something related with nature or humanity.
It so happened that I managed to get 83% in Physics,Chemistry,Maths and 75.5 % overall.It used to be a decent result back in 1985. I was the proverbial black sheep of my family, so it was a welcome surprise for my father.He had aspired to be an engineer, but faced difficulties due to family obligations.He applied his judgment and chose my path for me.I was apprehensive since the family business was going through a rough patch, and I this was an expense which was not planned.
So I went along and got admitted to a college in Nashik.It was really a town 40 kms away from Nashik.There was a sugar factory which gave the entire area an all pervading smell of molasses.There was no infrastructure. The students lived in concrete barracks bed to bed crammed like sardines, 3 persons in a 14×10 room. The teaching staff was nominal, and there were no text books for the first few months.Guys whiled their time away with various activities.Attending college was a low priority action.The whole setup was so awful that only 4 out of 150 students made the grade that year.I managed to do it by clearing 8 papers out of 10.However students and the colleges themselves protested resulting in the university taking an underwhelming step of allowing everyone to move up the class.The next year however it was the same story.
We moved to the Nashik city and the college hired some space (5-6 rooms) in a commercial complex.There was no boarding anymore.Here the students found more diversions with cinema-halls and the netherworld of the city.The staff improved a bit, the administration was tighter.However the results were no different that year.I was one of the two students to make the grade in Electronics.However the college could not start a class for just 2 students.We left for Pune and scouted various options.What I realised was that the institutes were commercial in nature and most were inclined to take advantage of the situation by demanding either donations, or kickbacks or advance fees.My father was willing to raise the money by getting loans,but I could not see my father’s head bowed due to my successful results.I refused to get admission and spent one year teaching my collegemates without fees. Teaching came easily to me.This was informal and not official.I could not explain my decisions as people thought that I had lost it.I explained to the curious that I took a year off to cover up for the 4 subjects which were ATKT (allowed to keep term).
During this year I got the biggest lesson of my life.I got a medal that is etched so deep that it helps me steady myself whenever I have doubt.
I was approached one day by a group of friends during exam time.They had the next days exam paper which was being traded for money.I was offended, as I could not reconcile with the idea of cheating.This is not the education my father was trying to get me!!.However they thought I was refusing it for money.They offered it free, and requested me to provide answers.My reputation as a good student was the reason they had approached me in the first place.I refused, and walked away from them.Soon I was approached by my flatmates. They were in an awkard situation. They could not pass on their own, and a year was at stake for them unlike me.I had already secured the promotion and chosen to take a drop remember.I had to permit them to follow their choices.
So there I was with my entire educational foundation shook up. Just 3-4 people could resist temptation.I spent the night wide awake.I wanted to take the next train home,as I was totally disillusioned with the world.There was no justice for a poor man’s son I thought. To succeed, you had to become as corrupt as the system, I thought.My anger found itself manifested through self-injury.I am Shiva I thought.I will drink the poison.I had to stay awake. My cigarette found its way to the base of my left thumb.It charred and burned the flesh.It kept me awake.I stopped when the friends from the other room smelt the flesh and intervened.
Some inner voice told me,do not run. It is easy to accept defeat.It is easy to cheat and succeed. No one cares.However we live with ourselves every momemt.We know.
I appeared for the exam in the state I was.I failed the exam by getting 36 marks instead of 40.I would have cleared comfortably if the events had not taken place.The entire class passed barring a handful of exceptions.
For me this was a success with distinction.I passed with flying colors, though I may have failed the paper.I have never cheated in an exam. There is no power in the world which will allow this son of a poor man to take shortcuts to success.There are not any.
The wound is losing its glory, and is getting assimilated with the background.Not many notice my medal.I look at it whenever the world’s corruption weighs me down, and I get recharged to take on the world.
I thank my parents for making me what I have become.I thank God for giving me self-belief. I thank the world for giving me the challenge.I thank my education for giving me character.
I thank my wife & friends for accepting me. My brother for supporting me.My sister and children for loving me unconditionally. In fact there are endless blessings to be thankful for.No one can take that away from me. Nothing will extinguish the flame of hope as long as my medal shines through.
When I was a child, my mother struggled to ensure that I took my schooling seriously.I was having difficulties in school as I had joined 2nd standard straight after spending a small time in a hindi medium school.My father had little time or inclination to help me.However he inadvertantly gave me some of the best lessons in life.
Firstly, he introduced me to the world of comics.I still remember the Amar Chitra Katha comic on Rana Pratap, which was his first gift.This got me into a lifelong passion of reading, which I am eternally grateful to him for.
He also taught me that I should understand what I read. He advised me to answer questions in my own constructed sentences, instead to repeating exactly from a text.This was an invaluable lesson.He did not spend time teaching me,but he gave me the tools to teach myself.A lesson worthy of being passed down to my children.I tell them this story.I tell them that they may get lesser marks, but they will at least carry their own ideas,which is ultimately a higher achievement.
Recently someone asked me a question. Why did I read? After a little thought I replied that I read to become a better human being.
This was not what he expected. The stereotype answers would be for learning,knowledge,growth,seeking truth,enjoyment,escape from reality,wealth,power,skill,Immortality etc.
I fall back to Maslow to explain. He espoused that the two BIG problems facing humanity are 1) To create better/superior persons 2)To create a better society. Predictably, he refused to identify what comes first, but said that they work in tandem.
Maslow also opined that a better society is a requirement to generate better persons. He mentioned that better people are required to create better society.
My life is devoted to become a better person. All the work I do are in a way towards achieving this goal.This also includes reading. I hope that the society I live becomes better. I also recognize that a corrupt society can corrupt people. And corrupt people can corrupt society.
What is a corruption? Any idea of benefit which is not tied to common good can be seen as a corrupt idea. A corrupt idea can then corrupt persons. The corrupt person can then corrupt society. A corrupt society can then corrupt people. Maslow if I remember uses Hitler as an example. His 3rd reich could have changed the world if he had won the war.
Some of our value systems are formed at a young age. Some challenge their own beliefs and evolve towards better values. Books are an important tool,but not the only way. Quite a few can not challenge their own views as it creates insecurities and punctures the comfort zone. Not all have a spirit of adventure or the courage and belief in self.
Early in my career, I was handed an important lesson by my first boss back in 1992.
He told me that all persons have latent(potential) and obvious qualities. Additionally these qualities can be judged by self or others.This creates a quadrant.I will list all the squares below as it is the best way to describe them.
1st square: Self=Obvious, Others=latent. These are your secret abilities/qualities.
2nd square Self=latent,Others= obvious. This is what the world thinks about your qualities/yourself, but you may have no inkling.
3rd square Self=Obvious, Others= obvious. These are your proven abilities recognised by all.
4th square Self=latent,others=latent. This is your unknown potential.
There can be an issue of self image when there is contradiction between 1st and 2nd square.You may believe yourself to be a very straight,honest and god-fearing humble person.Others may see you as a crooked, conniving,lazy person.Truth is usually midway between self image and reputation.
Not many people face up very well to square 2 if there is a negative connotation as it is seen as criticism and denial is complete. I actually have practiced hard to get a cool headed analysis of such things directed at me. An useful ploy is to look at it from the others point of view. Sometimes it is genuine, sometimes it is because of insecurity and fear, or plain malice or jealousy.
Sometimes we create a halo around our own heads, in reality the head is in the clouds.
It is necessary to do a self assessment periodically and see if self image and reputation are well reconciled with each other.
I was discussing with a colleague on how our jobs have been impacted with the advent of the “e” age and 24×7 business.
Burn-outs,nervous breakdowns or worse a coronary are emerging as real threats. Some people lose focus of their objectives in life.They find solace in the concept of keeping themselves busy with inane urgent but unproductive activities.This creates more pressure with unfinished tasks piling up.
A senior pro consistently got top achievements till one fine day he found himself relegated to the bottom and he had very few ideas to change the situation.He had not managed the paradigm shift well when his responsibilities were expanded. He shifted blame on failure to personal reasons and biased management.
His self image of a selfless and “a people’s person” was at variance with the general perception.His confidence is in tatters.He is unable to prioritize, as reasoning is affected due to these various pressures impacting him.His despair and anguish is clearly visible.
If only he negotiates the next few steps well, and gets some wind back!!Not only does he really posses a fantastic PR, he is also very capable of finding back his midas touch.
All this is subject to his getting his thought process organised.
Another gent was hugely dis-satisfied with a sales job, so he undertook a self development plan which allowed him to leapfrog natural progression and assume a higher function.He managed the paradigm shift well.But he lost his will to work.All energies are now devoted to the pursuit of retirement at the earliest.I was taken aback when my opinion was sought on a complex algorithm developed to crack the case of wuinning a 3 million USD bounty in a lottery.A colossal waste of intellectual capability,were my private thoughts.So is the paradigm shift really mastered by this gent? His other favorite discussion topic is “immortality “.
Meet you in a couple of centuries from now?
I myself lead a dysfunctional life with my dear ones countries apart. What would others be thinking of me. “This guy is a desperate person, with no emotional attachments, only money drives him”.
Who am I to judge others?
Time and again, I see loyalty being rated as a top pre-requisite in the list of desirable qualities.This is true for friendship,relationship and even in the work environment.
Loyalty is listed as the top reason for engendering trust. Any show of disloyalty is seen as a personal attack, even a stab in the back. “Et Tu Brute”
Loyalty to an individual demands that we suspend judgment on his/her acts and are unequivocally receptive to all their actions. Or even if we are not receptive, we would not voice opposition as it would be seen as a disloyal act.
This loyalty may require you to overlook your bigger role towards society or organization.So is loyalty to an individual a higher desirable quality than the bigger entity?
I guess relationships demand this kind of suspension of judgment, if the original fervour has to be retained. Or put in another fashion, the attachment of a relationship overrides judgment. The heart wins over the head.
It starts with the backyard you live in,loyalty to the state you belong to, or the country or the language, or the caste, or the religion. Same suspension of judgment are programmed from early age. Loyalty to your kind of people.
So when “Neeraj” espoused the cause of humanity over the divisions of state, or religion, it was a radical idea. It challenged loyalty as a concept. With his poetry, patriotism, religious identity, caste,language etc. were subject to new evaluation.His hindi poetry was part of our curriculum in the 6th standard when I was growing up.He had a profound effect on me.
And suspending judgment is never going to be a wise thing as then evolution,change, growth,improvement would also be not possible.
So I would rather have critical people in my company, who could challenge my actions,beliefs and thoughts. For me the traditional definition of loyalty would mean surrendering the power of reasoning in a way. It would probably assuage the ego, but stunt thought and growth. No one can afford to be right all the time, as mistakes are the tools necessary for learning.
But then this is my view.
All of us are influenced by our society. As children we are born with very little powers of discrimination. Generally the bolder babies travel happily from shoulder to shoulder while some babies would limit their travel to recognized faces. But ask a baby its colour or religion, and it is blissfully uncluttered with these considerations.
In the process of growing up, parents,teachers and peers pass on quite a few of their ideas and thus influence the children. They develop the child’s power of judgment and make them ready to be citizens of the world. In this process quite a few of the ready made algorithms or shortcuts get taught consciously or unknowingly. We teach children that a dog could bite, so be careful. We teach them that doves and deer are gentle and so on and so forth, without the child having to go through the act of self-discovery.
In the process of growing up if there is a clash between what a child learns from his nearest and then what he learns from society, a clash can result. This can lead to rebellion or produce complexes in the child.
Importantly there are some basic fundamentals which are absorbed in such a way that they become part of the person. The person with this latent quality may not really be aware of this development.
Prejudice. It is defined as an act of pre-judgment. It is the act of assuming or classifying something or someone without knowing the entire facts. It is in fact a shortcut applied by the person on the basis of his understanding of race,religion,language,culture,country,intelligence,beauty, gender etc. The list goes on.
Closer home, you can hear statements like “Bhaiyya”, “Ghaati”, “Madrasi” ” Papad” the list is endless. These pejorative terms are used to paint an entire segment of society. Then the entire segment is given attributes.
Recently in Bahrain, there were some high profile crimes committed by Bangladeshis. This resulted in the government banning the entire community. For all young and impressionable minds the image of the Bangladeshis has been imprinted emphatically. It will not be a great wonder if they grow up with this fixed prejudice. It is like the Puerto Ricans, infamous the world over while experienced only the US.
What is the outcome of prejudice?
I can best relate to the book “To kill a mockingword”. Harper Lee won a pulitzer for this work. This novel describes how a black handicapped man is charged with rape of a white minor girl, leading to his unfair conviction by the jury. The defense advocate proves it beyond doubt that the act was not possible physically. The jury decides otherwise. This book was made into a movie starring Gregory Peck. Since it was at a time when segregation was still fresh in black minds, it was a very evocative and emotional piece of literature.
In deed in our daily lives, we face and commit prejudices on a daily basis. I worked with an extremely talented and intelligent gent who prided himself with the ability to make decisions based on his observation powers. So within a few minutes into a conversation with a stranger, this gent would have strong opinions on the stranger’s character.Indeed his geography and history. He would be able to rationalize the most trivial things and present them as facts. While strangely the truth is that even after spending lifetimes together, partners make mistakes about each other.
It is of little consequence if your grocer or milkman is prejudiced. But what happens if you feel its presence in family or workplace?
When presented with such prejudiced and judgmental behavior, people tend to either spend their energies in trying to prove the fallacies of the assumptions, or sometimes they are trapped by self-doubt.This could result in introspection and possibly loss of confidence or mental balance.
Early in life I learnt that it is futile to try and correct a prejudice. Prejudice is a blind spot, and a prejudiced person never realizes this fact. So the more you correct him, the more it seems like a challenge for him.
I believe that it is best for everyone to be true to themselves. Those who love you and care for you, will accept you with warts and all. They will overlook your flaws if any. The rest don’t amount to much anyway.
By the same coin, you will have to learn to live with the flaws in the others if you care for them. “Forgive them for their sins” from the bible resonates with this message.
Forgive people their prejudices, and be open to own up your own prejudices.Amen.
When Arundhati Roy’s masterpiece fell in my hands,I expected another flowery and awkward indian english novel.So the first thing which struck me was the delightful use of alliterative prose,which made it nearly as beautiful as poetry.Popeye the sailor man!! It was a delightfully different from my expectations.
Set in kerala,the story depicts a widow, twin orphans,a death by accident,caste system, lover,murder, scandal, ostracism, heartbreak,separation and death. It features a feudal lifestyle decaying with the advent of times.The story is flashback for the most part and ends with incest.
From the description,it may seem to be a salacious tale full of crime. However it is one of the most moving moral stories written by an inspired writer. It depicts the prejudices which exist in society and family and forces the reader to take his stand.The tragic tale of Ammu has an uplifting effect.And the writing style keeps you glued till it ends.
Recommended for all.
I ask myself the meaning of humility.
It is a virtue extolled by all spiritual leaders and religions. As school children we learn this at a very early age in our religion or moral science class. However as we grow, the relentless rat race to get ahead teaches us the practicality of self-promotion. Truth assumes varies hues.We see white lies as a new addition to our dictionary.
Life teaches us at a early age that truth can only get you to some place, while the same truth embellished can take you much further in the material world. The “power of spin” is equated with leadership. Out goes ethical behavior or morality, they being impractical in the world today.
The result is erosion or unlearning of all teaching drilled into us as children.
A humble person is equated with a wimp, or worse a fool.
When I first read Dostoevsky as a 18 year old, I was profoundly influenced by Prince Myshkin “The idiot”. His morality shone through like a shining star in this dark and murky world. Admittedly a creation of the author’s imagination, this character taught me the meaning of humility. It accomplished what the combined efforts of all other forms of learning could not.
It humbled me and made me aware of how pride and ego corrupts the soul.I have since revisited the book and I gain a lot of moral energy from the same.I wish he had attainable qualities. But then it is looking for an ideal which lives in a different world. However even a bit of his quality will help.
Dostoevsky has other great literature too, which have been significant for me. Brothers Karamzov, Crime and Punishment and several short stories vie with each other for mention.
The Prince is however royalty. May he live forever in the thoughts of human beings and touch their lives the way he touched mine.
When the dotcom bubble burst it had several unfortunate consequences for people who had invested their careers in the newage companies. I started working in brick and mortar IT companies as a sales person from 1992. Marketing executive, Marketing Manager,Area Sales Manager,Sales Manager of reseller companies, Value added resellers,System Integrators finally to the distributor companies, I had seen it all over a period of 8 years. Then I took a chance and accepted a position in Cyberitmall.com as Business Development Manager in 2000. Cyberitmall was a division of Orient Information Technologies Ltd.which was established on the back of its outsourcing business. It had offices across the globe with clientele from the middle east,US and the far east.It was listed on BSE and had influential board members like Ketan Parekh. The MD and main investor is Ketan Sheth.
Cyberitmall was formed with the objective of creating an alternative ecommerce channel for IT requirements catering to B2B and B2C markets. Its business was to create a valuation and become an attractive takeover/acquisition target thus benefiting all the stakeholders. The project as it was known by Orient was headed by Trupti Sheth the general manager.
After the dotcom bubble burst in India with UTI and Ketan Parekh coming under a cloud the whole reason for its existence was challenged. Orient had no interest in a brick and mortar like operation and this had an impact on its employees.However the young and energetic team rallied around Trupti and was keen on making afight of it.
However the operation was leaking expenses, and Ketan Sheth had to take hard decisions. One day he called us and pulled the plug as humanely as possible. He offered a generous settlement, or an opportunity to get inducted in the parent company.I was disillusioned and decided to call it a day. Before taking this decision, I felt the need to communicate to Trupti informally,as I enjoyed a close working relationship with her.These words were penned before dawn, and they drained me and strengthened my resolve at the same time. I am not in regular contact with Trupti, but her 1 year association is very precious. I reproduce my email below.
Hi Trupti,
I know that these may be difficult times for you. I’ve always admired the way you have put 200% for anything you took up. There are a few professionals I know who measure upto your standards, as far as commitment goes. This even your detractors will have to concede. So if this decision has to happen after your tremendous efforts then it is definitely not because for want of trying on your part.
I’ve always taken a lot of pride in handling challenges, taking on tasks which people doubt the success. I see myself as problem solver & have respect for my abilities & I will give it my best try. I also know that I need not worry on who gets credit as long as there is success. I also know that failure will not bother me, because I will not fail on my part. As long as I know it, it matters little what others know or believe. And please believe me I dont think that you or I have failed.
I know that the business we did from Jan onwards at an avg of 50 L approx. per month, with the resources available is definitely a success story, take any comparison. (Paradyne started 2 yrs back, it did 6 Cr first yr of operations & 30 Cr. the 2nd yr, it has charted 100 crs this year).It started as a cut price company, now they have become a 10-15% GM co ,because they have moved up the value chain i.e. Sun, Cisco, multi-location presence, ASPstatus etc. I have full faith that with Orient coming out of hardware business, there is another Paradyne in the making possible with the base/debris/roadkill of the CIM project. I had prepared myself for the worst scenario, hence I was not affected/ traumatized by Ketan’s announcement. I only thought to myself that this means that whatever I thought of/believed in, now it is time to implement.
There comes a time in life when you risk it all & people say you have lost your marbles. I contacted a few friends for advice & none of them say that there is any risk/foolishness to do it. So I’m at a stage where I either do what I outlined above. Or I look for a position for myself, which I started doing on 16th June (completion of 1 yr in CIM).I definitely do not look at any position in Orient, not because I will not fit in. I say this because I see bad Karma in Orient. I will work with a company which believes in itself, which can boast of some quality. Even if it has to be a company of 1 person. I know these are harsh words.Truth is seldom sweet. Do not worry on my account, I will survive this.
So it brings me to the end-game. It is time to say good-bye. It is time to dwell over the past without bitterness & hurt. It is time to remember the positives.(I’m crying as I write this. I am surprised that I have this emotion in me.)
All the best in life & we will be in touch.
Regards
Vazir
I completed my Bachelor of Engineering degree in electronics from Poona University in 1991. After spending a few months at my family business, I realized that I was just a glorified slave. My father and his two younger brothers-my uncles ran the family business under the titular leadership of my retired grandfather. My father had just failed in his independent venture and hence had lost all leadership claims. The youngest brother- my uncle had usurped control.
This uncle had failed in his ambition to become a doctor and he attributed this to the lack of financial support from my grandfather and father. He cited others who had bribed their way through medical colleges, and wondered why he was bereft of such benefits!! Naturally,I became a special target as I completed my engineering inspite of difficulties engineered by him.
So when I started out to hunt for a job, I had an objective of establishing myself independent of my family business.
One of the first places I visited was Liberty Automation Systems in Wadala. Rajiv Sethi who had started this company after a career in IDM conducted my interview. Rajiv in the course of his interview informed me that I was better suited for sales than support for which I had applied. He offered me a job on the spot and I accepted without much consideration. I was signed on for a royal salary of Rs.1200 + commissions per month.
My father was disappointed as this royal sum was much beneath the lacs we could have made in business, however my mother supported my decision. My younger uncle could not hide his satisfaction with the turn of events with his sarcastic remarks much to the chagrin of my parents. However the commissions were healthy and I was soon making more money than the employees at Godrej.
My interview was remarkable because I was impressed with Rajiv’s interviewing techniques. He conducted it as follows:
a) A multiple choice written exam within a fixed time frame.
b)Candidates who passed with 70% and above were interviewed next. This personal interview consisted of a mock sale with Rajiv offering his watch to be sold back to him. He enacted the role of a tough customer.
c)Background information was collected during the personal interview.Language proficiency and conversational skills would also be judged at this stage. By this stage the result would be clear to both parties
Though this may not be a applicable for experienced candidates, it was perfect for recruiting new comers. I used the same techniques for future occasions while employing sales persons for my team. It is unbelievable that quite a few people excel in misrepresenting or over-projecting their abilities. However these multiple steps guaranteed that the best candidates were chosen.
