I look out from the 8th floor balcony, and see the traffic go by.As I walk by the bedroom,I see a pigeon nest.
This is the 3rd nest I have seen in the past 5 months since I moved into this rented flat/apartment. One nest was in a cranny, its eggs were out of sight. The young pigeons hatched and grew and then flew away,unobserved by me.
The second nest was built on the balcony floor, and it had 2 eggs. My girls saw the hatching and the young pigeons in their downy avatar as they had come down for Diwali vacations. Within a few weeks, these pigeons grew and developed their plumage. We saw their first hesitant flight from the floor to the railing. They looked like the adults in all respect,but you could tell by their shinier necks and flight that they were not adults.The parents continued feeding them. Till one day they flew away.Soon dust gathered, and the empty nest was the only reminder of their existence.I cleaned up the nest and the droppings which had messed up the entire balcony floor by this time.
Just recently I saw one solitary egg laid at the same place as the earlier nest was.It was on the floor,without any nest. I remembered the mess created by the earlier hatchlings, so I put a wire mesh on the egg to inhibit the pigeons from hatching the egg. Soon an another pigeon pair started building a twig nest in the other corner of the same balcony. I scattered the twigs across the balcony floor, but within hours the industrious birds rebuilt the nest. One day,I saw 2 eggs in the new nest. I casually mentioned this to my wife, & she advised me to let the birds hatch, so that our girls could see them when they came here in about a months time. So I uncovered the wire mesh.Then I moved the new nest to the location of the old nest. I then put all the 3 eggs together,and patted myself on the back for the kindness I was showing the birds.
The next day, when I visited the gallery, I saw that the nest had vanished!! All that remained was a solitary egg. The birds were angry!! They simply did not want to hatch any egg they had not birthed. After 2 days the remaining egg also vanished.
Why am I writing this long & dreary tale,you may wonder? Just answer one question.Are birds really different from humans when it comes to being parents? Kids will grow and leave the nests, and the empty shells of our nests and droppings of life/memories will remain, till the maker sweeps it all away. New nests will be built in the same place…
I was unexpectedly thrust into higher studies for Bachelor of Engineering when I had expected to do something related with nature or humanity.
It so happened that I managed to get 83% in Physics,Chemistry,Maths and 75.5 % overall.It used to be a decent result back in 1985. I was the proverbial black sheep of my family, so it was a welcome surprise for my father.He had aspired to be an engineer, but faced difficulties due to family obligations.He applied his judgment and chose my path for me.I was apprehensive since the family business was going through a rough patch, and I this was an expense which was not planned.
So I went along and got admitted to a college in Nashik.It was really a town 40 kms away from Nashik.There was a sugar factory which gave the entire area an all pervading smell of molasses.There was no infrastructure. The students lived in concrete barracks bed to bed crammed like sardines, 3 persons in a 14×10 room. The teaching staff was nominal, and there were no text books for the first few months.Guys whiled their time away with various activities.Attending college was a low priority action.The whole setup was so awful that only 4 out of 150 students made the grade that year.I managed to do it by clearing 8 papers out of 10.However students and the colleges themselves protested resulting in the university taking an underwhelming step of allowing everyone to move up the class.The next year however it was the same story.
We moved to the Nashik city and the college hired some space (5-6 rooms) in a commercial complex.There was no boarding anymore.Here the students found more diversions with cinema-halls and the netherworld of the city.The staff improved a bit, the administration was tighter.However the results were no different that year.I was one of the two students to make the grade in Electronics.However the college could not start a class for just 2 students.We left for Pune and scouted various options.What I realised was that the institutes were commercial in nature and most were inclined to take advantage of the situation by demanding either donations, or kickbacks or advance fees.My father was willing to raise the money by getting loans,but I could not see my father’s head bowed due to my successful results.I refused to get admission and spent one year teaching my collegemates without fees. Teaching came easily to me.This was informal and not official.I could not explain my decisions as people thought that I had lost it.I explained to the curious that I took a year off to cover up for the 4 subjects which were ATKT (allowed to keep term).
During this year I got the biggest lesson of my life.I got a medal that is etched so deep that it helps me steady myself whenever I have doubt.
I was approached one day by a group of friends during exam time.They had the next days exam paper which was being traded for money.I was offended, as I could not reconcile with the idea of cheating.This is not the education my father was trying to get me!!.However they thought I was refusing it for money.They offered it free, and requested me to provide answers.My reputation as a good student was the reason they had approached me in the first place.I refused, and walked away from them.Soon I was approached by my flatmates. They were in an awkard situation. They could not pass on their own, and a year was at stake for them unlike me.I had already secured the promotion and chosen to take a drop remember.I had to permit them to follow their choices.
So there I was with my entire educational foundation shook up. Just 3-4 people could resist temptation.I spent the night wide awake.I wanted to take the next train home,as I was totally disillusioned with the world.There was no justice for a poor man’s son I thought. To succeed, you had to become as corrupt as the system, I thought.My anger found itself manifested through self-injury.I am Shiva I thought.I will drink the poison.I had to stay awake. My cigarette found its way to the base of my left thumb.It charred and burned the flesh.It kept me awake.I stopped when the friends from the other room smelt the flesh and intervened.
Some inner voice told me,do not run. It is easy to accept defeat.It is easy to cheat and succeed. No one cares.However we live with ourselves every momemt.We know.
I appeared for the exam in the state I was.I failed the exam by getting 36 marks instead of 40.I would have cleared comfortably if the events had not taken place.The entire class passed barring a handful of exceptions.
For me this was a success with distinction.I passed with flying colors, though I may have failed the paper.I have never cheated in an exam. There is no power in the world which will allow this son of a poor man to take shortcuts to success.There are not any.
The wound is losing its glory, and is getting assimilated with the background.Not many notice my medal.I look at it whenever the world’s corruption weighs me down, and I get recharged to take on the world.
I thank my parents for making me what I have become.I thank God for giving me self-belief. I thank the world for giving me the challenge.I thank my education for giving me character.
I thank my wife & friends for accepting me. My brother for supporting me.My sister and children for loving me unconditionally. In fact there are endless blessings to be thankful for.No one can take that away from me. Nothing will extinguish the flame of hope as long as my medal shines through.
I completed my Bachelor of Engineering degree in electronics from Poona University in 1991. After spending a few months at my family business, I realized that I was just a glorified slave. My father and his two younger brothers-my uncles ran the family business under the titular leadership of my retired grandfather. My father had just failed in his independent venture and hence had lost all leadership claims. The youngest brother- my uncle had usurped control.
This uncle had failed in his ambition to become a doctor and he attributed this to the lack of financial support from my grandfather and father. He cited others who had bribed their way through medical colleges, and wondered why he was bereft of such benefits!! Naturally,I became a special target as I completed my engineering inspite of difficulties engineered by him.
So when I started out to hunt for a job, I had an objective of establishing myself independent of my family business.
One of the first places I visited was Liberty Automation Systems in Wadala. Rajiv Sethi who had started this company after a career in IDM conducted my interview. Rajiv in the course of his interview informed me that I was better suited for sales than support for which I had applied. He offered me a job on the spot and I accepted without much consideration. I was signed on for a royal salary of Rs.1200 + commissions per month.
My father was disappointed as this royal sum was much beneath the lacs we could have made in business, however my mother supported my decision. My younger uncle could not hide his satisfaction with the turn of events with his sarcastic remarks much to the chagrin of my parents. However the commissions were healthy and I was soon making more money than the employees at Godrej.
My interview was remarkable because I was impressed with Rajiv’s interviewing techniques. He conducted it as follows:
a) A multiple choice written exam within a fixed time frame.
b)Candidates who passed with 70% and above were interviewed next. This personal interview consisted of a mock sale with Rajiv offering his watch to be sold back to him. He enacted the role of a tough customer.
c)Background information was collected during the personal interview.Language proficiency and conversational skills would also be judged at this stage. By this stage the result would be clear to both parties
Though this may not be a applicable for experienced candidates, it was perfect for recruiting new comers. I used the same techniques for future occasions while employing sales persons for my team. It is unbelievable that quite a few people excel in misrepresenting or over-projecting their abilities. However these multiple steps guaranteed that the best candidates were chosen.
As children we hear about how friends stick together. We learn that squealing on mates is a huge flaw in character. Frequently what we learn as children is what forms the basis of our behavior for life.
I can share two instances which brings the topic in play.I am sure everyone would have made decisions of these types in their lives.The first incident is penned in this page below.
As a child, I had to experience change frequently. My family was struggling to keep its head over water. As a result of a few bad business bets,my father had to go through selling our house to relocate to smaller place. From a spacious and fashionable address in Worli,Mumbai we travelled up the corridor to Andheri west in 1979. I was 12 years of age and had just made it to the 8th standard.
My brother and I were duly put in the Holy Family High School in Chakala. It was a good school and I have fond memories of a few things during my 2 year tenure there. One of the memories is related to the topic of discussion.
I was a back bencher due to my prodigious height. Being a new comer in the 8th standard, my abilities were not well established in the class. So I was frequently labeled a rogue in the time honored tradition of back benchers. This had several unpleasant consequences for me.
One day the school had a book fair, which gave us the opportunity to lay our hands on the treasures of Enid Blyton,Tin Tin,Hardy boys and other unachievable gems. Unfortunately a few of the classmates were unable to resist temptation. One of them was the class monitor who had a clean reputation.As a result their school bags acquired a bulkier dimension varying with the degree of their greed. Most of this stuff was right in row 1. The rogues from the back benches being naturally impervious to the charms of literature.
The principal of the school had a well deserved reputation of being a forceful inquisitor. The rumor of his visit to the class room was enough to send the books scurrying from the first row to the back row traveling from hand to hand. These books then literally flew out of the window and into the compound a few feet away from their original location in the hall. They were however outside the hall, but plainly visible.
As it turned out the inspection squad could only recover one book from the bags. The class monitor obviously had a better estimate of his reputation than the school authorities. Around the same time the books were discovered lying in the compound. The complicity of the back benches was established beyond doubt. The rows in front were naturally populated with angels until proved otherwise.
The 4 or 5 boys from the back bench were summoned by a teacher, Girls being exempt from sinful conduct. In the true fashion of the catholic church, we were asked to confess our crimes, or name the offendors.
There came the question of the code of honor for me.
I was not a party to robbery. But my fate was playing a game and I had to prove my character.
As the only person to not confess the guilt or name the offenders, I was disciplined after class. Additionally I figured in the list of an offendor who confessed . He cited me as an accomplice.
This resulted in my name being announced next day in the assembly, in the context of a red card or yellow card (I forget) for dishonorable behaviour.
I still think back and ask myself. Would I do different? The code of honor bars my way. I asked my conscience keeper, my mother. I asked her what I should do? Her words are immortal and still guide me.
” Ask yourself .”
Cryptically she conveyed that the conscience of a person is his own. He has to decide what is right and wrong.He has to take responsibility for his actions. And he has to take consequences for his actions.
I grew up, but this is a teaching I wish I can convey to my children as well.At a young age they need to take responsibility for their actions.
I believe what I did what was right. I also believe that consequences are not the decision making criteria. It is your fate which may reward you with a red card or a certificate of merit.
Second story to follow soon…
